I wanted to step back from my work and write about experiences that I’ve had at University. I am constantly saying both to myself, and to other people “It’ll be different in the real world.” This phrase has been pondered over today and has been pondered over for the past 3 years.
I approach my work with a high level of effort and integrity. I do not see my projects as “getting my degree”; they are an opportunity to make films and opportunity to do something that I love. I watch films and I enjoy them, but there is nothing better than being on a film set shouting “Action!”. From time to time a film comes along that inspires me to want to make a film and this is what I want to achieve with my own work; create films that inspires something in someone else to go out and make a film. Being a Producer is all about making phone calls, negotiating deals, organising the elements of a film, but nothing to do with what really goes on up there, on screen. This is where my life gets complicated. I have a mind that sees things as a film and I see decisions through this, kind of, lens. When I hear music, I see a film sequence to which this music would suit and I often write scripts to include specific pieces of music. I see an activity, hear a conversation, watch a play and I see it through the same eyes, as a film. I see the conversation between two lovers in a coffee shop as an intimate two-shot sequence. I am a director.
But, when faced with the opportunity to direct my own film for my last year of University I turn it down and opt to Produce it. When analysing my year group, I couldn’t see anybody being able to produce my film. I didn’t trust anybody in my year group to do it. That is why this blog entry is being written. My own distrust forced me out of my dream role and into an unstable working relationship. The two films I am producing are brilliant; one of them has is lacking direction and other has a difficult relationship with one of the crew. I need to air these views in order to correct them, but in both cases I will hurt their feelings and ultimately compromise the work.
To me the work is everything and the completion of the film to the best of my abilities is key, yet I am faced with tough circumstances where on one hand the person is a close friend and on the other the person used to mean quite a lot to me. (Cryptic writing is key to this folks!) So I rant on here as a way of saying, in the real world this kind of thing wouldn’t happen. As producer I would have the power to sack people and hire new. I would have the power to take on a role that isn’t being done properly. I would have the power to make decisions. In my education these powers and decisions are quashed by the rule and quashed by the fact that if these people are taken off the project, their degree is in jeopardy and regardless of who is at fault I would get the blame. I am a good producer, but I am not a producer. I am a director and this is what I’ll do.
(Disregard this post if you want to pay me thousands of pounds to produce a film.)
Thank you and good night.
